It's always something....

It has to be said... sometimes life really just sucks. OK it's bad enough that the price of everything is skyrocketing ( everything that is except for my income) but it seems to me lately that you just can't get ahead ( or catch up for that matter). It has to make you stop and think, what the hell is happening to the middle class. I used to consider myself a proud member of the middle class, but it now seems that if I'm lucky I might be in the lower ( lowest) middle class. It appears that at this rate we'll be a country of rich and poor. And I'm sad to say I know where I'll fall. It's not that I feel as though I have to be rich, honestly I just want to be able to pay all my bills, have a car of my own, and have a little left over to indulge my wonderful kids a bit. Is that so much to ask? I don't need gobs of money, I'm just tired of playing the game, you know where you have to constantly juggle the bills seeing which has to be paid and which can be late and at the same time buy groceries for your family. I'm just tired, tired of the stress and tired of the worry. As my loyal fans know, I have been without a vehicle and my dear mom has generously lent me hers, well to make for an extremely crappy day, as I was driving to mom's this afternoon with the entire family, including Lola and all her stuff , my mom's car decides to break down about 10 blocks from her house. To make matters worse, it appears that the car will need major repairs ( read : lots of money) and that it will not be ready anytime soon. Can you say shit?!!! AAAHHHHHH. Picture me, in 90 degree heat on the side of the road with 3 kids and an unruly dog. Not my idea of an ideal Sunday. I guess when it rains, it pours. So now I have the pleasure of admitting that I am once again carless. It makes me feel a bit like a failure to say that, but I guess instead of focusing on what I don't have ( ie the car) I should focus on what I do have, my house, great kids, wonderful husband, who cares about the car, I could walk and in turn not only get in better shape, I could also help the environment. Maybe this won't be as bad as I had first imagined. Here's to trying to look on the bright side.....

Going Green

I just watched Oprah and I have to tell you I am feeling a bit inspired. Today's show was in honor of Earth Day and was all about living green. I have to say, this has been something I have been wanting to do ever since I saw An Inconvenient Truth ( for all those who have yet to see it, I believe it is a must see, and please watch with your kids. What better way to educate our kids and inspire them to be proactive about the environment than to let them take an active role in helping us.) But you all know how it is, you put things off for another day to do more "important" things and before you know it 3 months have gone by and you've still done nothing. Well I am here to say I had a moment today while watching the show and I realized there aren't many things that are more important than taking a stand NOW and doing something. I can sit idley by and do nothing while our planet becomes less and less inhabitable or I can do something. Well I have made a choice and I am going to do something. I urge you all to consider making simple changes in your life and home. Hey, these changes can even end up saving you money. If you just replace your lightbulbs with compact fluorescent light bulbs you are on your way to not only decreasing the CO2 output and helping decrease global warming but also saving on your electric bill ( and they last 7 - 10 years people!) There are so many simple changes you can make to help out Mother Earth, & they don't all cost a fortune. So I encourage you all to do your research & see what changes can work for your family. What better legacy to leave behind for your children than a planet that is better off because you were on it!

What a difference a day makes

Just yesterday I was carrying on about not having seen 300 yet. Well I must have done something really good because my karma came back to me today and I couldn't have asked for a better gift. My father in law got a copy of 300 on dvd and let me borrow it. I have just finished watching it and let me tell you, it definately lives up to all the hype. I love love love love love this movie. Gerard Butler is stunning ( his performance isn't too shabby either :P ) Actually, his performance just about made the movie, I couldn't picture anyone else as Leonidas. And the Queen... oh my god she rocks!!! ( you were right A. her line was the best and was well delivered. I loved that part. that guy was a pig and got what he deserved) The special effects and graphics are superb. I just cannot think of enough to say about this movie. I was inspired by the passion of the Spartans. I can only hope that I can live my life with such passion.

To all of you losers who have not yet seen this movie, I urge you to do so. Go now, run.... you won't be sorry.

Green with envy

Ok Ok Ok... I know freaking everyone in the free world has seen 300 and I also know that I'm probably one of the few people who has not seen it. What really pisses me off about this is that I'm literally DYING to see this movie. I have been looking forward to this movie for months now ever since my best friend emailed me the trailer. Everytime I hear someone talk about how awesome it is ( cause I haven't heard one bad review yet) I want to choke them and scream at them to shut up and not to ruin it for me. And I am overcome with this feeling of insane jealousy. Is it normal to harbor feelings of this magnitude over a movie? Well, I'll reserve my judgement on that until I actually see the damn thing. So if anyone wants to volunteer to watch my 3 amazing, gorgeous (did I mention well-behaved?) children so the hubby and I can go and see this film before I freaking kill myself, please call me.

At Last

So I have been receiving alot of pressure to blog regularly. ( yes, from my 2 whole fans).Nice person that I am, I want to give the people what they want. As I sit here and try to think of something of interest to blog about, I find myself starting to think about all kinds of pressures, especially those those that women face. The pressure to be thin, the pressure to be the perfect housewife, the pressure to be everything to everyone (at the expense of yourself) . I had a really sad conversation with my mom on Friday. She was crying and crying saying that she woke up that morning and for some reason she realized that "she" was lost. She told me she no longer knew who she was or even what kinds of things she liked, disliked, even basic things like hobbies, people( including her boyfriend). She is the kind of person that for years has let everyone else take advantage of her and stood idlely by while people came in and out of her life, using her, and each stripping away pieces of her one at time. Don't get me wrong here, my mom is not a total doormat, she just gives up too easily, she doesn't like confrontation, so she'll always succumb to avoid the fight. While I feel so sad for her, I am elated that she has finally realized what's going on. I having been trying to tell her this for years, but for some reason, it either comes across wrong, or she doesn't get what I'm trying to say. I guess you just have to be ready to hear. I struggled with waking up one day and realizing that I did not know the person I had become. I became a mother & a wife and wanted so badly to please them that I never took the time to consider what I wanted, and before I knew it I was a shell of the girl I used to be. I am thankful everyday that I have found my way back., but I know that this happens to alot of women. They become wives, mothers, and completely abandon who they were and what they were all about to focus only on the needs of their family. It's the pressure to be the perfect housewife. We women try to hold ourselves to the ridiculous standard where in our minds we are supposed to have cleaned the house immaculately, have a delicious,home cooked meal on the table, have all children politely at the table waiting for dear ole dad, all while your perfectly coifed, in full makeup and dressed to kill with your smile plastered on. Why do we do this? I for one know my husband couldn't give a rat's ass if I cook or choose to order pizza as long as we eat. And as for the house and kids being immaculate, well he does not harbor any illusions, we have young kids and our house will never be immaculate. And my husband loves me even if I wear sweats with no makeup and have bed head. As long as I throw him a bone a few times a week, he's a happy guy. Men are simple, it's us women who complicate things. And as far as the pressure to be thin, I am so over that too. Coming from the girl who once had such horrible body image issues, I couldn't even be naked in front of my husband, I am telling you it's all a crock. We have got to learn to love ourselves.. as is. I can now proudly say I love everything about myself (my incredible shrinking breasts aside) right down to my laugh lines, grey hair, stretch marks, and cellulite dimples. They are all mine. I have earned them, and I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not experienced those things.

Well even though this was not the blog I had intended to write, I'm glad I did, and if it doesn't all make sense, throw me a bone I've been awake for 23 hours and and running on fumes here.